The Girl in the Mirror
Once upon a time, in a small, unassuming bathroom, destiny unfolded before my very eyes. Little did I know that this encounter would leave an indelible mark on the path of my existence.
Written by Julia Jayne | July 2023
In the dimly lit room, my palms grew clammy as I fidgeted nervously in the chair. The air was thick with anticipation, heavy with the weight of the questions I had been asked. In the midst of it, he did something that left me bewildered. He abruptly stood up, walked behind his table, and guided me forcefully into the bathroom.
This wasn't what I had signed up for when I decided to try hypnotherapy for the first time. My goal had been simple: to overcome the persistent writer's block that had plagued my dreams of launching a future cooking blog. Yet, here I was, pulled out of my chair and unceremoniously shoved into the bathroom.
Confusion got the better of me as I stared at the cold, unfeeling tiles. What had just happened? And more importantly, why? My thoughts were a whirlwind of uncertainty until he, the therapist, with an unexpected urgency, pointed at the mirror.
"Look at the girl in the mirror," he instructed, his voice carrying a strange mixture of compassion and determination, "and tell her you love her.” My heart skipped a beat, but I tried to comply. I turned my gaze towards my own reflection. But when I tried to utter the words, "I love you," they caught in my throat. To my surprise, I couldn't say it. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror.
The therapist's emphatic smile felt like a ray of light breaking through the shadows. "And that, my friend, is the root cause of all your troubles.”
"Let’s return to my office and finish the session, shall we?" he said with a jovial attitude, pointing in the direction.
I left the session that day with a head full of questions and a heart heavy with a newfound awareness. It had become clear that there was something deeper at play, something that had eluded me for years.
The funny thing about self-love is that if you ask people, most will confidently declare that they love themselves. I was one of them. I walked through life with an air of self-assuredness, believing that my control and composure were evidence of self-love. But as I would soon discover, there's a world of difference between the mind's proclamation of self-love and the heart's genuine, deep-seated love for oneself.
The signs of my self-love deficiency were everywhere, like breadcrumbs leading me to the truth. It manifested in the form of repeated business failures, in relationships that flickered and faded, in the struggles within my marriage, and even in the deterioration of my health. I couldn't deny it any longer; my self-induced destructive behaviors had been the breadcrumbs I'd been blindly following.
The mirror had become my mirror of truth, reflecting back at me the stark reality I'd been avoiding. But now that I knew the truth, where did I go from here?
The therapist's prescription was unconventional but undeniably potent: for the next 30 days, I was to look into the mirror and say, "I love you" to myself. It may sound like a simple task, but for someone who had spent a lifetime neglecting her own self-worth, it was a monumental challenge.
The first week was a battleground of discomfort, my own reflection feeling like an enemy I couldn't face. But I was determined to finish those 30 days. Day by day, I pushed through the awkwardness. I began to search for things about myself that I genuinely appreciated, no matter how small they seemed. As the days passed, it got easier, and the words flowed more naturally.
By day 22, I was fully invested in this journey of self-discovery. The remaining days were a breeze, like a gentle exhale after holding one's breath for too long. The more I uttered those words of love, the more I began to feel comfortable in my own skin. It was like a transformation was taking place from the inside out.
But here's the true magic of it all: self-love is more than just a feeling. It's a powerful force that sets the stage for a cascade of positive changes in your life.
As I grew to love and value myself more, I found the strength to set boundaries with people and situations that were toxic or draining. My happiness flourished, and I discovered an inner balance that had been missing for so long.
I challenge you to embark on this 30-day journey of self-love. Stand before the mirror each day, and with sincerity in your heart, declare your love for yourself. It may feel strange or uncomfortable at first, but trust me, the reward is beyond measure.
As you commit to this practice, watch as your confidence soars to new heights. Your happiness will become unwavering, regardless of the challenges life may throw your way. You'll cultivate a deep sense of self-worth that radiates from within, transforming not only your relationship with yourself but also your relationships with others and the world around you.
Remember, self-love isn't a destination; it's an ongoing journey, a commitment to nurturing the most important relationship in your life—the one you have with yourself. Embrace it, cherish it, and let it become the driving force behind your most authentic and beautiful self.
Stay bold, stay brave, and, above all, stay in love with the extraordinary person you are. You are worth every bit of the love you give to yourself. Your journey to self-love begins today, and it's a journey filled with profound transformation and boundless self-discovery.
